blogging because.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

seasonal depression or the sixth month slump?

Well, as I have noted we have reached and now surpassed the sixth month mark. Its an appropriate time to look back and reflect. Facebook makes this easy. Halfway fell amidst some 8 weeks of travel, a new academic school year, family tragedy and winter in Busan. For some reason I could not shake the grey that enveloped the entire city. I have talked at length about this subject, the sum of my discussions is to chock these misgivings up to the inevitable 'sixth month slump'. This term, coined by EPIK teachers before me, describes the state in which you regress into after the initial "OMFG I am living in Asia for a year..." phase, the blissful honeymoon phase and the "yeah, I got this" phase.  Come February, I expected to feel proud that I had made it this far, grounded in the relationships I was building here and recharged after my time off  - ready to take on the next leg of journey. Ironically, I felt the opposite. I felt entirely disconnected: straddling the life I left at home, my life in Busan and the enlightened life I hope to lead when I return in the Fall. Unable to make sense of these feelings, I stuffed them deep in the back of my head, where we tuck away all our biggest fears and anxieties. To my surprise I was not fooling anyone. My friends and family knew I was 'off' - and so they called me on it. Lost is my own tears, I fumbled for the words to explain my behavior. Again, I fell short and just kind of rattled on about things that irritate me in general. So here. HERE I am, unloading online and moving on.

Now I am committed to:
- Accepting the 9-5 routine (hello and welcome to the real world Jennifer)
- Embracing the fact that Asia is not the West and indulge in the cultural differences
- Planning one thing a month that I am truly excited for (MGMT concert 1.4.11 holla!)
- Exercising 4 times/week
- Celebrating my relationships
- Living in the moment because the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Week 30, thanks for the wake up call.
...Hey, the glass is always half full too!

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